incompetent EMT students today. They have been with me in ambulance
triage for TEN hours and their skills have not improved one iota. I've
repeatedly shown Dumb and Dumber how to use the Dynamap, and they
can't manage to get the blood pressure cuff on right, let alone take a
simple oral temperature.
We were swamped, and I exhorted Dumber to work faster. He looked at me
and said, "I don't do well under pressure." I asked him why he was
planning to be an EMT then, and he replied, "Money." The EMS crew we
were working with cracked up.
The other one told me that he was taking this EMT class to "save
lives," but doesn't want to work as an EMT; he plans to start a
business as a "trip monitor." He wanted to be able to "talk people
down and keep them alive" when they overdose on Special K (ketamine)
because according to him, calling 911 is the "worst thing you can do"
in a situation like that.
They spent most of their time "trying the oxygen," horsing around, and
generally getting in my way or being completely useless on one of the
busiest days this month. They were both like, "wow, this is some crazy
shit here! Is it like this every day?!"
I couldn't take it anymore and sent them home two hours early because
they were driving me bonkers.
They headed into the back to get changed and I waited for them to
present me with their paperwork to sign. When I saw them walking out
the side door, I realized they must have known I'd give them a bad
review and decided to split. I found out later that they'd approached
the busy and harried charge nurse, who signed their already-filled-out
forms, and they left.
My only consolation is that these two bozos will probably never become
EMTs and I'll never have to see them again.