Monday, October 19, 2009

In Memoriam

Sheila was born on September 21, 1934 on a small homestead farm on the plains of midwestern Canada. She was the second of seven children. They grew up in a one-room log cabin, farming grain and livestock.

Sheila and her family lived the life of rural homesteaders: no electricity until Sheila was eleven years old ("It'll come down the road soon enough," her father said), and no indoor plumbing until the "big house" was built a year after Sheila had left home for the big city.

She went to the local one-room schoolhouse (by horse-drawn sled in the winter), helped on the farm, and idolized her Auntie Beulah, a nurse for the Red Cross who worked in Korea, helping Eurasian orphans find homes with families in Canada. She left home at 17 to go live with an aunt in the nearest city to attend 12th grade, as their local school didn't have that grade and most kids finished school by correspondence.

She decided to go to nursing school because the only other options for women were working in an office or a grocery, or becoming a teacher. She didn't want to be a teacher because her mother was one--and who wants to do what their mother did?

She attended a diploma school in which the students staffed the hospital and were managed by senior nurses. Sheila found she had an aptitude for nursing (although she hated working the midnight to seven shift she was so often placed on) and graduated with honors in 1956.

Sheila traveled around Europe, learned to ski, made friends--and decided to move to New York "for the adventure" in the 1960s. She intended to stay only for six months and then head on to San Francisco, but ended up staying in New York for the rest of her life.

As the head nurse of the critical care unit of a major metropolitan hospital, Sheila found herself in charge of the nursing students that passed through the unit. She fostered the careers of hundreds of nurses in this way. She also earned a BSN from Columbia University.

In the mid-60s, she was one of a handful of nurses in the United States who specialized in cardiovascular medicine, assisting cardiologists and surgeons at her hospital in open-heart surgery when pacemakers were just becoming routine. She also worked in one of the first cardiac catheterization units in the US, and worked with medical engineers and manufacturers on designing cardiac catheterization equipment.

In 1970 she got married and had her first daughter; in 1974, her second. She worked private duty at night for years when nurses were underpaid and had no benefits so she could be home with her children during the day, and began work on her Masters degree in nursing. When the kids finally went off to school, she decided she needed a career that allowed her to be on the same schedule as her children, so she did what she thought she'd never do.

She taught--nursing.

For thirty years she taught basic and critical care nursing, instructed on nursing units, and developed a "Math for Meds" course that is used in many nursing schools. She pioneered the use of computers in the hospital and for learning, and obtained a post-graduate certificate in Nursing Informatics. She estimated at one point that she had taught over 1,360 students how to be nurses. One of those students was me.

Sheila passed away on October 7, 2009. She was at home, in her own bed, at peace, and in no pain. Both of her daughters were at her bedside. She leaves a large nursing legacy--hundreds of students who will remember every word she taught as they use the information she imparted every day in their careers as nurses. They will remember the contagious and boundless enthusiasm and joy she found in all aspects of nursing: caring, learning, teaching, innovating. They will remember a woman who had an almost unlimited knowledge of nursing, who pushed and encouraged them to succeed at their careers in nursing for years after they left the school.

I'll remember her as Mom.

40 comments:

Kirsten said...

Your mother sounds absolutely fantastic!

You and yours will be in my thoughts & prayers... keep strong!

Lynn Dykstra said...

Beautifully written.
Beautiful life.

Mad William Flint said...

Best Apple Pie Ever

Christine said...

That was beautiful. I'm sorry for your loss. Prayers and thoughts go to you and your family.

Nurse Betty said...

Condolences to you and your family, GuitarGirl. When I read a remembrance like this, I always regret never having had a chance to meet the subject. She sounds like a very cool lady and a hell of a nurse.

audrey said...

I'm sorry for your loss. Your mother is beautiful.

David said...

My condolences GuitarGirl. She was much too young.

But I'm amazed at the similarities between our mothers. My mother was born in 1913 in Jansen, Saskatchewan as the 5th child of 9. She went to nursing school in New Brunswick, eventually moving to NYC where her older sister was a nurse. She joined the US Army and worked as a nurse attached to the Army Air Corps and spent time in the Aleutians and Occupied Japan. She had her first child at age 38 (me), yours had hers at 36. She died in 1999 of cancer and I miss her everyday.

rlbates said...

So very sorry for the loss of your mother. I loss mine earlier this year. It's hard. Lean on your family and friends.

Anonymous said...

I lost my beloved mom in 2001. Her birthday was October 17th, so she's been in my thoughts a lot.

Having been through that loss, you have my absolute sympathy. Your mom sounds like an wonderful person, and I'm sorry for the hole her loss will leave in your life. You'll be in my thoughts.

Aunt Becky said...

She was beautiful. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Christine-Megan said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful tribute to her. She sounds like an amazing woman.

newnurseinthehood said...

She sounds like an awesome lady, the saints are lucky to be in her company. I can't imagine what you're going through.

Mike said...

So sorry for your loss. She sounds like a wonderful woman who gave much to this world through her nursing. God bless you as you mourn and celebrate her life.

Anonymous said...

I'm a long time reader but have never commented. Just wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss.

mojitogirl said...

What an amazing story about such a rich life! She truly succeeded in expanding the circle and touching those around her. My deepest condolences for your loss.

DT35 said...

A moving account of a life well-lived and a person well-loved. Best wishes to you and your family.

Nurse K said...

She looks like a cool woman! Sorry for your loss :(

Anonymous said...

A successful woman, mother, and nurse. She is a beacon for the rest of us. Thank you for providing us with the honor of a glipmse into your lives. Bless all of you, and know this will ease, a little, in time.

Leslie said...

She must have been a remarkable woman. I'm so sorry for your loss.

MonkeyGirl said...

You've made a beautiful memoriam.

I would've liked to have met her.

I'll bet she was proud of you.

shrtstormtrooper said...

A woman like your mom is a true gift to this world. Thank you for sharing her story with us.

Jo said...

I am so sorry for your loss.
Thank you for sharing such a wonderful memorial with us - she sounds like she was an amazing woman.

Fordo said...

Beautifully written. Your mother sounds like a fabulous woman. I am so sorry you lost her.

RehabNurse said...

My condolences on your loss. I lost my mom years ago but I think about her every day.

adesguy said...

Very sorry for your loss. I lost my mother 10 years ago and it still hurts most days.

Thank you to your mother and you and all the other nurses out there. You take care of us when nobody else can or will.

God bless

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful remembrance for your Mom. She sounds like an amazing woman and an amazing nurse. My condolences to you and your family.

Bootchez said...

Also a longtime reader who never commented. I'm sorry for your great loss. Your tribute here is simply beautiful not only for the words you write but the images you create. I'm sure your mom would be proud of them, and of you. Lovely.

geena said...

So sorry to hear about your mom. My thoughts are with you and your family

:(

Anonymous said...

oh, GG, sorry to hear about your loss! your mom sounds like she was a real firecracker. thanks for sharing this amazing story.

-snurse8

mofo said...

Sorry to hear about your loss. Your mom sounded like an amazing woman.

Anonymous said...

Your family has a legacy of incredible women. I am glad to know you though your blog. I was tearing before I realized she is your Mom. Peace for you and yours.
Yvonne ED RN

Miss Kismet said...

What a lovely tribute to a lovely woman. I lost my mom ten years ago and it still feels like yesterday.

MGoldRN said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Your Mom sounds like she was an amazing woman! Those nurses from way back are really a shining example (and so are we)

Anonymous said...

I understand much of the steps you have been going throught. My mom died last Nov. Sister and I think of her often and now it is all the good smile things. Still want to call and tell her things. You grow. D

Canuck Nurse said...

Your mom taught me during my second year at PBISON in 2005-2006. I found her to be extremely intelligent, passionate about nursing and able to see through the bull that students sometimes try to dump on instructors. And she handled it all with grace.

When I graduated, I took the opposite route of Sheila and headed north to Canada to spend some time nursing while I completed a BScN. I have since returned to NYC this month though not in time to see your Mom. She will be missed. May her memory be a blessing.

Matt Mendelow, RN BScN

jennie said...

I am so sorry for your loss, be gentle with yourself. I have been reading your blog for a while and will miss your posts as you grieve. I am also a guitar and bass playing RN.

UnsinkableMB said...

G-

Beautiful post.

I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers...

MB

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your mom sounds like she was a wonderful person. My thoughts are with you and yours.

Anonymous said...

My condolences for you and your family. She sounded like an awesome person who really made an impact on so many people's lives. That's how I would like to go too.

paedsnurse said...

What an amazing person and an amazing mom. I'm so sorry for your loss.