Man: Do you have a CAT scan machine here?
Me: (stares at man)
Man: Seriously. Do you have a CAT scan machine?
Me: Yes, sir, this is a modern urban hospital. We have a CT scanner here.
Man: OK. How do I get one?
Me: A doctor has to order the test.
Man: Oh. So I can't just sign up for one?
Man: Are they expensive?
Me: They're not cheap. Do you have any medical problems that you'd like to discuss?
Man: No. I just wanted to see what my brain looks like. Thanks anyway! (gets up and leaves)