Seems like I've been fighting with patients a lot lately, and getting my butt kicked by little old men and women.
I have some lovely deep scratches on my right forearm from an elderly woman who really didn't want me to draw her blood.
And I have two (count 'em) hand injuries resulting in swelling, both from little old dudes who didn't like me much. One took my right hand in a gentle, caressing way and then proceeded to look me in the eye and twist my index and middle fingers so hard that both proximal knuckles popped and swelled up significantly. The other old dude grabbed my left thumb as I was trying to clean the poop off his hands and bent it all the way back, laughing maniacally. I'm very grateful that his family was not there at the time, as I yelled, "OW! You FUCKER!" at him. It was the end of the night and I was tired of getting beat up.
Also I caught my psych patient (with a blood glucose of 600) squeezing her urostomy bag so hard it squirted piss all over the curtain and floor in a lovely golden fountain. When asked why she was doing it, she said, "No one brought me a sandwich!!" I asked her if she had requested a sandwich. "No, but NO ONE BROUGHT ME ONE AND I AM HUNGRY!!!" So apparently my mind-reading abilities are off, as well.
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12 comments:
Been there, done that, got the scars and medical bills to prove it.
Just as long as it doesn't interfere with your guitar playin' -grin-
OMG you have more patience than me...
I guess when you have that kind of day you can refer back to your April 6th post... :)
Man... I get that, from other students. For some reason I appear to be spared the physical attacks. Maybe it's a male thing... bloody hope it is! Twist MY frickin' hand, Patient Man? I'll kill your ass...
I seriously have no idea how you keep from punching these people. (Add that to the list of Reasons I Could Never Be a Nurse, I guess!)
I say hit them! They're already in the hospital and when they complain just say they're delusional!
May your good Karma rock your world in the future!
The hospital is NEVER going to let us carry mace, or handcuffs but it can't stop us from dreaming! Toni
I love that crap. "why wasn't my Imitrex ready at the pharmacy"
"Uh, maybe because you didn't call any for refill?"
These bozos think we can read minds.
Why is it that patients with dementia seem to become totally lucid when it comes to violence? I had a patient with Alzheimer's a few months back who had been with me for hours and had literally said nothing that made sense. As soon as I had to restart the IV she pulled out, she pinched me and said "you're gonna get it" while looking me straight in the eye. Spooky.
Using the urostomy bag as a weapon is a new one on me, for sure.
From the husband...
- Never heard about the injuries. Can I now call you Nurse with Wound? (Look it up.)
- Bag Lady: Golden Showers?
- Michael W.: Guitar? More like KnittingKnut RN.
Don't you feel so normal after dealing with patients like that???
GGRN,
Do you really want to be able to read their minds? I'm not scared of a lot of things, but that would be scary. The same is true of reading the minds of politicians - scary!
Kids are the opposite. I would love to be able to think like a kid again. :-)
newnurseinthehood,
I don't think they really are lucid. At the time, they are just feeling like violence is the answer to whatever their problem is. This is not usually an expression of clarity of thought. Wrestling with patients is something I have a lot of experience with. They do not fight like sane people. They are much easier to distract and they almost never precede an attack with any kind of misdirection.
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