Seems like I've been fighting with patients a lot lately, and getting my butt kicked by little old men and women.
I have some lovely deep scratches on my right forearm from an elderly woman who really didn't want me to draw her blood.
And I have two (count 'em) hand injuries resulting in swelling, both from little old dudes who didn't like me much. One took my right hand in a gentle, caressing way and then proceeded to look me in the eye and twist my index and middle fingers so hard that both proximal knuckles popped and swelled up significantly. The other old dude grabbed my left thumb as I was trying to clean the poop off his hands and bent it all the way back, laughing maniacally. I'm very grateful that his family was not there at the time, as I yelled, "OW! You FUCKER!" at him. It was the end of the night and I was tired of getting beat up.
Also I caught my psych patient (with a blood glucose of 600) squeezing her urostomy bag so hard it squirted piss all over the curtain and floor in a lovely golden fountain. When asked why she was doing it, she said, "No one brought me a sandwich!!" I asked her if she had requested a sandwich. "No, but NO ONE BROUGHT ME ONE AND I AM HUNGRY!!!" So apparently my mind-reading abilities are off, as well.