Triage Conversation...

Me: So, how long has your son (a healthy 14-year-old boy) had these headaches?
Man: For a long time. Like three months. He keeps getting them.
Me: No vomiting or nausea? No sensitivity to light? (shines light in eyes, pupils are normal)
Man: No.
Me: (to boy) do you have a headache right now?
Boy: Yes.
Me: (to both) Have you given him anything for it? Like Tylenol or Motrin?
Man: No.
Me: He's been having headaches for three months. Have you seen his pediatrician? What did your family doctor say?
Man: We haven't had a chance to go to the pediatrician. Besides, I wanted to bring him here because in the Emergency Room they have all sorts of special equipment and extra tests and things.
Me: Uh huh. (Gives kid a Motrin, makes him a level 5--which means even sniffly noses will be seen before him).