Like the gal with the huge lac to her thigh (with all sorts of meat and tendons hanging out--but the wound is strangely dry and is not bleeding freely) who denies any drug and alcohol use, who reeks of ETOH and whose pupils are huge. She says she got up in the middle of the night and ran into a large mirror. Does your leg hurt? Not really, she says. How long ago did this happen? Forty minutes. She called her boyfriend and waited for him to come over to bring her to the hospital.
And the guy who is here because he's been having "hot flashes" for three days. They're so bad he has to take off all his clothes and drink water until it passes. Let's see if he has one in the waiting room.
And one of our regulars (who has already been here twice today). His chief complaint? "my balls itch because someone at another hospital dipped them in a bedpan and got urine on them and are there any sandwiches?"