Actually, for the year, I think.
One of our rather unpleasant frequent fliers was brought in because he was sleeping on the sidewalk outside his favorite bar. This man is a filthy, stinky, cursing, aggressive, piss-soaked, racist, evil bastard. He comes in two to three times a week, mostly for being passed out in public, and occasionally because he falls and needs something sutured up or x rayed.
When EMS wheeled him in we knew he had to be even more foul than ever--they were wearing full masks and plastic outfits. Not only was he full of piss, he was coated in shit in various stages of drying. He stunk to high heaven.
I was floating, and it wasn't terribly busy, and I have a cold. So I can't smell very well. I decided to clean him up--while he was too out of it to object.
I put him on a sheetless gurney, I suited up in double plastic gowns, shoe covers, triple gloves. I amassed supplies and wheeled him into our decon showers. And then I cut all his clothes off (including his MAGGOT ENCRUSTED VOMIT SOAKED SWEATER), removed his poop-covered shoes and decontaminated his disgusting claw-feet using ERnursey's stink-foot-in-a-bag technique, covered his naked body in soap and bicarb and hosed him down. I scrubbed all the crusty shit off of him as he lay there making drunk noises. (And for all you "drunks are people too" folks out there--the showers are indoors and the water was nice and warm.)
And you should have SEEN what came out of his belly button. It was like a freaking hockey puck or something. Seriously. I broke a little bar of soap in two and used it to dig the fossilized mung out of his navel. If I could have reached my phone, I would have taken a picture of it for you, but my phone was back at the nurse's station with my stethoscope and my bat utility belt.
Anyway, he was nice and clean and dry, and the patient relations people brought him some clothes from the clothes bin. AND shoes. And he actually didn't smell anymore.
But he sure did the next day when he came back covered in shit again. Sorry, my good deed for the year is done. Someone else can clean him up.
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19 comments:
Oh GG, I love you.
"And you should have SEEN what came out of his belly button. It was like a freaking hockey puck or something."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Made me think of the scab on a new born baby's navel, just not as pleasant a patient to deal with - even if the baby is covered in feces, too.
To funny!
Newbie to your blog! Love the stories!
My wife is an ER nurse and I am an ICU nurse.
One good thing about ER is your goal is to move them out as quick as possible (while still being safe). In the ICU we could have them for weeks...months...even a year! Yes we had one patient for one year...this pt was a foriegn, visiting family...No insurance. Failure to thrive after emergent OHS. No long term rehab would take this pt, since this pt had no insurance and couldnt qualify for any financial aid...finally after a year this pt was well enough to fly home! Unreal, but atleast it had a happy ending!
Not for the hospital, since it had to eat a whole year of hospital bills! Ouch!
-Just Jed
You didn't ...like... put it in your purse and save it or anything right?
:-p
Mike- I vote that as the best comment of the year.
LMAO
GACK! You're a compassionate nurse to do this. Yeah, I know it was partially self interest in having him not stink up the entire ED, but it was still a nice thing to do.
BTW, do you folks use the term "Toxic Sock Syndrome" for those stinky feet?
Gary
whitecap nurse says:
Your karma bank account is now solidly in the black.
heh heh heh, thanks for the link. Only those of us who deal with these folks know what truly amazing thing you did. I know a lot of people would argue the point but we really do have some compassion - up to a point.
Ive taken care of that guy more than once...well, one just like him anyway.
by the way, new to your blog and I really enjoy it. ill be adding a link to you from mine....
Oh God!
At least he didn't try to give you a hug for cleaning him up the last time.
Next time someone else does it, maybe taping a chuck pad around him like a diaper would make for easier clean-up.
Very nice, Mike, very nice. Smart ass.
I TOLD you, my purse was back at the nurses' station. So DUHR, I couldn't have picked it up.
And if I could have, I would have SENT IT TO YOUR HOUSE!
So there!
xoxoxo
GGRN
In as much as you did this for the least of my brothers you did this for me.
sucker
That is the Good Deed of one's LIFE!
What goes around comes around......expect good karma from your act of cleanliness!
Whatever you're paid isn't remotely enough. And, as you've noted, nurse's week doesn't exactly make up for it either. You're a good woman, Charlie Brown.
You are amazing and hee-larry-ous! Not to mention a superior human being. If my kid is half the nurse you are she will be a real credit to the profession.
Heather E (monster-sized monsters' mom)
Oh man! With all that sh*t going on, you could be a rehab nurse (we have sh*t everywhere, all the freaking time, especially if you work evenings and do bowel routine...arrgh!
I'll be so happy if my unit ever gets ceiling lifts, so we can stick the patients (with suppositories) and drop their backsides (suspended of course) on a nice, padded toilet seat, to alleviate some of the cleanup.
I came from a private hospital, so I didn't see too many maggots on our people. Now that I'm with the VA, from what my coworkers tell me, some of our frequent fliers occasionally have them...and they ain't those sterile, debriding ones, either.
The last guy we got had some great burns...from a hair dryer, because he wanted to save on his heating bills. Problem was he fell asleep with the hair dryer on and burned his leg (he's a para).
I guess we can almost look at these goofs as job security. I just wish some of them were not such 'holes, though.
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