Saturday, March 15, 2008

Simple Arithmetic

14 comments:

MonkeyGirl said...

I prolly shouldn't be laughing at that, but I sure am.

The Happy Hospitalist said...

picture pages, picture pages, time to get your paper and your pencil...

ERnursey said...

heh,heh, heh. Seen it all to often.

Medic 61 said...

Ow, ow, owwww!

On a different note...
Great blog! Consider yourself linked :)

Standing Firm said...

oh how I love word puzzles!

ERP said...

Choke that one up to "Bad Idea"

boone said...

Uhhh, yeah.. I think we're going to need to hear the story behind this.

By the way, after I saw you linked on Ambulance Driver AND Meat in the Seat, I had to give your blog a read... Love it! Keep posting.

GuitarGirlRN said...

A very sweet and polite man came into triage after filling the triage slip out with "intestinal obstruction."

He told me, very calmly, that he had an inflatable dildo stuck up inside him (the "inflating part" that looks like a sphygmomanometer bulb had broken off), and he was having some pain.

When I commented that his BP and pulse were rather elevated, he admitted that he had smoked some crystal meth.

I did some patient teaching about how perhaps meth lowers one's judgement level, and that it's not a good idea to put anything that does not have a flanged base up one's ass, and sent him back.

Later, I was present for his conscisous sedation to see if we could get it out. Nope. It was wedged under his diaphragm. You could feel it from the outside. The x-ray was phenomenal.

Throughout the whole thing, he was calm, polite, thankful and quite nice. The model patient.

Best line of the night?

Me: I saw your x-ray. Dude, that thing is a freakin' MONSTER!

Him: (smiles) I think I will just let that x-ray speak for itself.

WhiteCoat said...

This is a classic post. So true. Thanks for the laugh.

DisappearingJohn said...

Two years of ED, and I have yet to care for someone with this particular "complaint"

Seen lots of Xrays, though..

I seem to get the "rings stuck on penis for several hours" people...

John McElveen said...

Gotta Love it! Thanks for a great "Belly Laugh" this am.

Great blog!

John

Anonymous said...

I've been an ER nurse for just a couple of years now....I just want to know why so many people keep their vegetables in the shower. Isn't that what the crisper is for?!? Heh

Lanius said...

Every so often I'll have folks like that myself. Only difference being, you're equipped to deal with it. The porn store you bought said dildo is hoping never to see that product come in ever again and the customers get very upset when we tell them they need to seek medical attention.

jenkatt said...

It's not simple arithmetic, it's nurse-rithmetic!