Come to our exciting city! perhaps to see an old school buddy! bring a friend! There’s plenty of things for a couple of twenty-eight-year-old guys to do!
See the sights--maybe do a little shopping! Score some recreational substances of exotic origin and dubious content from our fun "outdoor pharmacies!"
Kick back and relax! Enjoy your recreational substances and relax so much that, when your buddy comes home from work, he finds you and your traveling companion unconscious--your friend blue and in PEA, and you in acute pulmonary edema with pink froth and vomit pouring out of you.
Experience an action-packed urban adventure...as two teams of paramedics attempt to intubate and restart your friend’s heart, and as you gasp for breath with the help of oxygen and a bag-valve mask. Feel the thrills of being transported at high speeds through the city streets to the emergency room, where doctors and nurses will continue to try to bring your friend back. Encounter fascinating people like the respiratory therapist, who, as you vomit gouts of bloody puke, introduces you to the ventilator after you are sedated and intubated. Feel the suspense as as the doctors and nurses watch you throw PVC after PVC, as you work your way into v-tach and get coded yourself--and then die.
Experience the heart-rending drama as all the parents arrive from two states away after driving for hours: your mother throws herself on top of your lifeless body and screams for you to wake up, wake up...as your friend’s parents are told that their son, who was coded and essentially pulseless for 45 minutes, probably will never wake up...as he is put on pressors as his body begins to shut down...as he develops DIC and bleeds from every opening in his body even as platelets and blood products are being forced in...as his parents beg the doctors to do everything, please, do everything, please, save him...
Return home with stories to share! Oh wait, you’re in a box. Bet your families will always remember your big-city adventure!
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2 comments:
Whoa - death in the big city. Powerful post.
Well, what was it? Rat poison? Baking soda? Some kind of cleaning agent?
(Where can I get me some?)
(Okay, just kidding. Sheesh.)
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